July 8, 2015

Ms. Nostradamus Berkus Cochran Schwab Freud

Oh, to be a kid again.  Remember what it was like to dream about what you wanted to be when you grew up?  I went through all kinds of ideas:  a pediatrician, a high fashion model, a ballerina, a newscaster, a media attorney, and a spy (the latter was my most recent wish).  But then life takes a few twists and turns, and we end up where we are.

Being a Realtor isn't the most glamorous or exciting career title.  However, there are many, many vocations wrapped up in this one.  I think the word "Realtor" means "one who wears many hats" or "one who is just plain crazy" in some ancient language.  Buying and selling houses is actually a very small portion of what we do.  Life would be much easier if we were simply sales people. 

Bestie.  Realtors spend a lot of time with our clients.  We get to know you well.  We see you happy, and we see you cry.  We know your life story, and your children and your goldfish.  We are Facebook friends with you and follow you on Instagram.  Seriously, we talk to you more than our own mothers. 

Psychologist.  Buying and selling a home is emotional (that is an understatement).  During this time people act in ways they normally wouldn't.  It is up to us to listen, comfort, and guide clients though their emotions.  This, in turn, leads us running to our own psychologist.

Decorator.  When selling, we possess the tools, or hire someone who does, to stage your home to sell (yes, this means putting all the Precious Moments figurines in a box).  This is even more important when buying.  How can you arrange your sectional to fit in this space?  What can you do to this kitchen to make it look less...well...ugly?  We've got your answers.

Phone Operator.  You may think this is an extinct craft.  Good news!  The phone operator still exists...in the form of your real estate agent.  Our phone rings and dings 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  We are happy to be at your service. 

Visionary.  Look into our crystal ball.  What do you see?  Appreciation of 11%?  Fun neighbors?  A Walmart being built behind this home in five years?  Only we have the answers.

Financial Advisor.  Interest rates, mortgages, closing costs, taxes, appreciation and depreciation are all are part of our everyday conversations.  We help you avoid dealing with Mr. Foreclosure Man or Mr. Tax Lien Fellow or Mr. What-the-Hell-Did-I-Do Guy down the road.

Jester.  We don't mime or juggle (well, maybe some), but we have to bring levity to certain situations.  This is serious business, and good Realtors can lighten the mood....especially me...I'm super funny.

Attorney.  There is a lot of legal mumbo jumbo that Realtors oversee.  A home is usually the largest purchase one will make.  There are a ton of moving parts to a real estate transaction, and we are trained to deal with it.  We hold a lot of the liability.  You're welcome.

Bouncer.  Not on my watch!  Don't schedule an apportionment to look at a listing unless you are qualified.  Don't send us over an offer unless it's legit.  Don't try to bully our clients in any way.  We're here to protect our clients, and if someone is messing with you, we'll throw their butts out.

So there you have it.  Jack of all trades and master of none?  Nope.  The great Realtors fine tune their craft to be exceptional in all of these categories.  Just don't call me at 2 a.m. and ask me to juggle while reading your inspection response.

Wishfully Thinking,
Carrie, P.I.


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